In the Name of Allah
Narrated Jarir bin 'Abdullah:
“I gave the pledge of allegiance to Allah's Apostle for to offer prayers perfectly, to pay Zakaat regularly, and to give good advice to every Muslim.”
[Sahih Bukhari Volume 1, Book 10, Number 502]
I am writing to share a few thoughts with you that will InshAllah serve as a reminder. My hope and prayer to the Almighty is that this reminder also constitutes good advice.
The example of the Sahaabas (r.a.)
As we know, the Sahaaba (r.a.) of our beloved Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), were often away from home, sometimes to preach the message of Islam, and at other times, to defend the Deen through armed struggle. The Sahaaba r.a. were never anxious, worried or concerned about their wives and children during this period of absence. Yes, they had complete faith and trust in Allah swt. At the same time, they were also assured of the fact that even if they were to die in the battlefield, their widows and orphan children would be looked after by their brothers-in-faith, one of whom would marry their widow, provide her protection and companionship and also be a good and loving father to their orphaned children.
One of the major changes since last Ramadaan
Last year in the month of Ramadaan, we had in our midst, some young Muslim brothers, who were our close friends and associates, who are no longer in this world. It is time for us to reflect and wonder whether we shall be alive to benefit from next year’s Ramadaan or not – but this theme is the subject matter of another discussion. Today’s theme for reflection is: have you wondered and cared to know what is the state of the widows and orphan children of our recently deceased brothers and associates?
Is money the only requirement and a “cure-all”?
Mere doling out cash year after year is an easy escape route. While money is important and may Insha’Allah meet the resource requirements of the widows and orphan children, money is no substitute for human love and affection. Every young child who loses his/her father should soon get a loving Islamic father. And every Muslimaah who loses a husband should soon get another loving and caring husband.
Beggars can’t be choosers?!
It is my hope and prayer that after her iddat period, each widow of our deceased brothers should have no less than five offers of marriage from good Islamic suitors, so that she may have choice and also the comfort of choosing the person and family that would suit and interest her and her child the best; one will be the best father for her child., and whose family she would like to associate herself with.
Only one or two offers will mean that our group had no love for our deceased brother and that we treat his family in such a way that they (our deceased brother’s immediate family members) feel that “beggars can’t be choosers”.
The appeal and the test
Each of us needs to think and introspect, as to how we can ensure that after her iddat period, each deceased brother’s widow has no less than five offers of marriage from good Islamic suitors.
These offers do not have to necessarily come from the group that worked so closely with our deceased brother (the Islamic Center’s circuit) … it is this group that needs to generate these offers from those that they network with and/or from amongst themselves. Such practical empathy with the families of the deceased would be the proof of our brotherhood in Islam. It would also be the practical manifestation about what we preach regarding the status of women in Islam: otherwise it would be empty rhetoric.
So now is the test for your dear brothers, O friends of deceased Muslim brothers. Time for you to stand up and be counted.
In case you get weak in the knees and/or develop cold feet, do view Nouman Ali Khan’s eight minute clip on “A Healthy Marriage in Islam” where he reiterates that marriage in Islam is protection for the women.
Also read the arguments against all sorts of excuses in the write-up on “reviving a neglected Sunnah / Mubaah”. It is compassion for the widows and orphans which is the neglected aspect.
I pray that this short reminder will move you to think in the direction of taking practical steps towards addressing the issue I have brought forth, even if it means making a life-changing commitment for you or someone you know. No doubt there would be challenges to face, and I hope the following Hadith will strengthen your resolve:
Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "The (Hell) Fire is surrounded by all kinds of desires and passions, while Paradise is surrounded by all kinds of disliked undesirable things." [Sahih Bukhari Volume 8, Book 76, Number 494]
This “all-time” appeal is the natural and logical next step and communication after the previous one on “Reviving a neglected Sunnah / Mubaah”. It has to be read and taken in the same spirit.
As for our sisters:
It's one thing to love and pat your widow friend’s orphan child/children; its one thing to call upon your widow friend, meet her, call her ‘sister’, hug her, embrace her, and shed tears along with her while genuinely feeling for her and on seeing and sensing her sorrow, grief, pain, distress and anxiety … and yet another thing to go all out to make sure that your ‘sister’ gets a suitable husband soon and that her widowed children thereby get a loving father. There is no Islaam without Sacrifice and Striving.
And Allah Knows Best
Obaidullah NewJoy
new_joy@hotmail.com
Mumbai, India
Ramadaan - August 21, 2010
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